By Ornella Valenti
I have always been fascinated by language and communication. Studies suggest that languages are somehow associated with our deeper selves, with our genetic background. Although this is still a topic of intense research, the ability to speak and to communicate are definitely gifts of our species and favour our daily lives, as well as interpersonal relationships, the transfer of information among peers and of knowledge/ experiences to offspring. And yet, we have all experienced how difficult communication may be sometimes and how easily misunderstandings can emerge.
In 1981, the German psychologist Friedemann Schulz von Thun elaborated a model of communication that he called the four-sides model (also known as the communication square or four-ears model). This model, together with several others, is part of the linguistic speech act theory. The four sides of the message are: factual information, self-disclosure, social relationship between sender and receiver, and wish or want (see the following figures). This model reflects the multi-layered structure of human utterances. In simple words, the model suggests that every message contains factual information as well as relational facets and that it might reveal something about the sender, the receiver, and the request at hand.
Imagine that you are driving a car and the passenger next to you says: “Hey, the traffic lights are green”. The driver will understand something different, depending on the ear with which he will hear this, and will react differently. Let’s take one by one the four-sides of our square. On the information side, he will understand the “fact” “the traffic lights are green”, but he could also understand it as “Come on, drive!”- a “command”, or on the “relationship” side he could hear it as an offer of help, like “I want to help you”, or he may hear something behind it from the passenger: “I am in a hurry”. I.e., the passenger reveals part of themselves, which is something “self-revelatory”. The same scheme applies to the senders and the message they want to deliver1.
Language and communication have their biological sites in specific areas of the brain that govern both the motor aspects of language and the ability to interpret and understand the message itself.
Verbal communication can be improved with some tricks and with experience. The sender could deliver a more effective message by modulating the tone and the clarity of their voice, or the speed of utterance and by using appropriate vocabulary. Body language also plays a primary role. On the other hand, effective communication equally depends on listening skills2. It is always good practice to make the intention of a message explicit, if you are a sender, and to ask what your partners heard and what they understood. At the same time, a receiver should also ask specific questions for clarification; for example: What do you mean? | So, what shall I do? | How can I help? | Let me see if I understood this… etc.
Good communication skills shape our interpersonal relationships and strengthen our bonds: It comes from mutual respect and appreciation. Clear communication can drive our personal success in life and can even improve our health; during the course of our history, the art of communication has ensured the survival and development of our species.
In summary, effective communication is definitely one of the most fun and satisfactory investment in life!
References
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four-sides_model
- https://vivadifferences.com/difference-between-verbal-and-non-verbal-communication-with-examples/
- https://www.seanews.co.uk/people/how-communication-impacts-our-relationships-and-mental-health/
Special thanks to Dr. Elisabeth Reichel and to Dorotea Meisnerova for their inputs and suggestions
Ornella Valenti works as an Associate Professor at the Medical University of Vienna’s department of Neurophysiology and Neuropharmacology.
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